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All the fear has left me now

I'm not frightened anymore

Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
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I use fumbling towards ecstasy as my name alot online. Email address, journal name, etc. Its a wonderful song about re-finding yourself despite all of the horror and ugliness in the world. Before you can love anybody else, you need to love yourself. Never be afraid.

Fumbling Towards Ecstasy

"All the fear has left me now
I'm not frightened anymore
It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh
it's my mouth that pushes out this breath

and if I shed a tear I won't cage it
I won't fear love
and if I feel a rage I won't deny it
I won't fear love

Companion to our demons
they will dance, and we will play
With chairs, candles, and cloth
making darkness in the day
It will be easy to look in or out
upstream or down without a thought

and if I shed a tear I won't cage it
I won't fear love
and if I feel a rage I won't deny it
I won't fear love

Peace in the struggle
to find peace
comfort on the way
to comfort

and if I shed a tear I won't cage it
I won't fear love
and if I feel a rage I won't deny it"

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Now, some Meatwad love. <3
title or description

Meatwad make the money see
Meatwad get the honeys G
Drivin in my car,livin like a star
Ice on my fingers and my toes and i'm a taurus

If you add me to your friends list, make sure to leave me a comment somewhere to let me know. 95 percent of my entries are friends only, so if you add me without my knowing, you won't be able to see any of the good stuff, on the rare instances that i do post "good stuff." By good stuff, I of course mean mopey, "woe is me" type entries. =P

I'm really big on kindness and intelligence and am normally very friendly. So if you're a mean and angry person, chances are i won't add you back. Its nothing personal, theres far too much negativity in the world and all of that anger and selfishness make my heart hurt. :(

Some of my favorite quotes:

"It's funny how beautiful people are when they're walking out the door."

"Oh, god, could it be the weather
oh, god, why am i here
if love, isnt forever
and its not the weather
hand my my leather
I could just pretend that you love me
the night would lose all sense of fear
but why do i need you to love me
if you can't hold what i hold dear"

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love, and be loved in return"

"We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
The lonely light of morning
the wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
that I have held so dear"

"i didnt realize that i was just the sidekick
but for a little while
it even tasted like life
and like a fool, i played my part
until the set collapsed "

"Passion is the source of our finest moments.
The joy of love
the clarity of hatred
and the ecstasy of grief.
It hurts sometimes more than we can bear.
If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace.
But we would be hollow.
Empty rooms,
shuttered and dank...
Without passion,
we'd be truly dead."

"The world is changed because you are made of ivory and gold.
The curves of your lips rewrite history."

"Does the drama ever reach the soul?"

1920's, 1930's, 1940's, all night conversations, apoptygma berzerk, art and expression, assemblage 23, ballroom dancing, beborn beton, being in love, belle and sebastian, billie holiday., billy idol, bjork, blues, breakfast at tiffanys, broadway, cabaret, candles, chinatown, cigarettes, clubbing, coffee, cole porter, covenant, dancer in the dark, dave matthews, david bowie, de-lovely, de/vision, depeche mode, diorama, documentaries, ebm, elegance, ella fitzgerald, eloquence, elton john, emotion, empathy, empire records, ewan mcgregor, feeling, france, frank sinatra, french, french comedies, ghosts, glam, goteki, haunted places, having fun, healing, him, honesty, humanitarians, humanity, icon of coil, independent films, industrial, inner beauty, inner peace, intelligence, irving berlin, jazz, joss whedon, kindness, ladytron, larry david, living, london, love, makeup, making out, midnight movies, moonlight, morrissey, moulin rouge, musical theatre, musicals, natalie merchant, native americans, new order, new orleans, new wave, new york city, nicole kidman, old movies, passion, past years and styles, peace, peter murphy, phantom of the opera, rain, reading, rent, romance, sad songs, sarah mclachlan, self awareness, sensitivity, sex, showtunes, singer/songwriters, spirituality, swing, synth, synthpop, the beatles, the cruxshadows, the cure, the french culture, the notebook, the smiths, times square, tori amos, toronto, truth beauty freedom love, understanding oneself, understanding people, urban decay, vampires, vintage style, vnv nation, wine, wolfsheim